If asking for favors makes you uncomfortable, you're in good company. Many people ponder, fret, and worry before they finally get the nerve to ask someone for what they want or need. This doesn't have to be the case, but there are some important guidelines that will make the request less demanding.
Asking for a favor isn't easy, especially if you don't feel that you have something to give back. However, not everyone expects you to return the favor right away. There might be something you can do later, and you should be happy to let the person know you'll remember their act of kindness in the future.
Here are some tips on asking for favors:. When someone does something for you, always follow up with a verbal thank you and a note to follow up. You don't need to go on and on, or you'll make the person uncomfortable.
A favor is a gift , regardless of whether you're on the giving end or the recipient. Actively scan device characteristics for identification. As noted above, since the Ben Franklin effect is driven primarily by the desire to reduce cognitive dissonance, the greater the dissonance, the more likely a person is to experience the Benjamin Franklin effect. Furthermore, other factors that can also affect the likelihood that someone will experience the Benjamin Franklin effect.
For example, since this effect can be prompted by self-perception in situations where a person has no concrete attitude toward the person asking for the favor, this means that a lack of preexisting attitude toward the person asking for the favor can increase the likelihood that the person who is doing the favor will experience this effect. The basic way to use the Benjamin Franklin effect is to ask people for a favor, in situations where you believe that doing so will cause them to like you more.
This includes, in particular, situations where they either dislike you, feel neutral toward you, or have no preexisting attitude toward you, though the Ben Franklin effect can sometimes also work if the person you ask for a favor does like you a little. Below are a few tips, which are based on research on the topic, and which will help you maximize your ability to utilize this effect:. Most importantly, make sure to use common sense when taking advantage of this effect.
This means that you should be realistic with regard to who you ask for favors, and with regard to the favors that you ask for.
This holds both when it comes to getting the other person to perform the favor for you, and when it comes to influencing how they view you in general.
The best way to ask for a favor will vary in different situations, but in general, you will get better results by being kind and polite, especially if your goal is to use the Ben Franklin effect in order to build rapport. However, there are situations where this attempted manipulation is driven by more negative intentions. This can be the case, for example, if a salesperson asks you to do them a small favor in order to get you to like them more, so it will be easier to persuade you to accept a bad offer later on.
Furthermore, in some cases you might dislike the fact that this effect is being used on you, simply due to its manipulative nature. In such situations, you will likely want to negate the potential influence of this cognitive bias, to the best of your ability.
The first step to achieving this is to simply be aware of the Ben Franklin effect, and to recognize situations where others attempt to use it in order to influence your thinking. On the contrary: they make their help look like generosity. And then when you least expect it, they bring up what they did for you. Or worse still, they saddle you with obligations you never accepted in the first place. People who act like that are hiding behind a false concept of gratitude.
However, they never check whether the other person thinks this way too. They just show up to claim their favor or expect you to do something for them, without even asking you.
You finally realize that the favor was not a favor but rather a trap. The person that did the favor signed it for you. Politics, for example. It also happens at work. If you cover for a colleague you expect them to do the same for you, if you were to need it. In both examples, there is a factor that makes the equation transparent: they are favors between people who have a utilitarian, practical relationship, not family or friends.
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