The bad experiences with love can make you feel as though you aren't worth it and you will not never find it. Because we need to find the person that will provide us this love. Unconditional love does exist, but I believe that you can only get it from one person and that is your one true love. One day you'll find this person, and you will see that it does exist. Everyone is human! Sometimes we can be pushed a little to far even by the ones we love so much and "unconditionally" but over time we can forgive the ones we love and that is unconditional love..
But its normally to instantly feel hurt or angry and have resentment for some time if we are pushed too far, after all.. We are all human! Hope this helps xxx. I think that "unconditional love" is an active choice in every moment. One may choose to love unconditionally by listening deeply, recognizing their own shortcomings and humanity, and celebrating all the parts of those around them the ones that they are proud of and the ones that they are not.
Often, I feel like people get lost inside of themselves and forget that this is possible when they do not realize how big, wonderful, and infinitely interesting they are as an individual. The best way to receive unconditional love is to spread it; when people feel listened to and respected, they will know it is possible to share that gift with others.
Show love, and you will spread love, and you will live in love, too. Anonymous April 4th, pm. Do you feel like you can't give unconditional love, or like you can't find it?
In the first case, you should give the love you're prepared do give in that moment. In a nurturing and equal relationship, that should increase as the trust and friendship become more solid. In the second case, I would say that we get the love we think we deserve, so it takes at least some introspection to be "prepared" for unconditional love.
In any case, I don't think love should be unconditional per se. It can become so, but it takes effort and trust from both parts, and it can be built :. Anonymous July 25th, am. I'm going paraphrase what I heard from a speech. People do not know what unconditional love is. If you stop stimulating an individual or you change to be a character they do not like or know. Anonymous June 13th, pm. Well mostly because we dont tend to believe things we can't see or to be quite to the point, things we 'don't' see.
There's unconditional love right there in your family, between you and your mum, between a lot of others. If you're talking about unconditional love between a man and a woman, well thats rare but it does exist. It's just is too silent too come under the spotlight.
Anonymous October 17th, am. You might feel that way because you don't personally love yourself, so you make your mind believe that as well.
It's sad, but mostly true. I've experienced it first hand. Because I never used to like myself, I doubted the love of others. Now I realise that's wrong and want others to know this too.
Anonymous March 25th, am. Because it doesn't exist And whilst this notion and even embodiment of authentic being this being key here — authentic has prolific merit and possess deep truth; it is unattainable for most initially and in fact not even possible until we move through conditional love. There are implicit and explicit conditions placed upon all of our relationships, especially at the level of being that the majority of the collective function at. So, what is conditional love?
In this context, conditional love is when we love another with a prerequisite or set of ideals that in order to exchange love with another they and we must meet a set of standards or ideals both negotiable and some non-negotiable where some form of conceived love may flourish, be maintained or experienced. Love for self falls in to a different category.
This can be just as if not more layered and complex than sharing love with another. Depending on our conditioning, exposure to certain experiences and how we have interpreted those experiences will determine how we choose to relate to ourselves. Ultimately, we are looking to cultivate compassion and empathy at deep levels of being in order to shatter limiting beliefs and break through paradigms that do not serve our growth and that are not kind, endearing nor expansive.
For the purpose of this paper, let us focus on external intimate and erotic relationship. Now, some may say that conditional love is selfish, self-absorbed, narcissistic, pessimistic, limiting, rude, wrong and the list goes on. Yes, it can be. It is deliberate intention, self-awareness and understanding of self that sets apart unhealthy and healthy conditional love. Whether we like it or not, we bring expressed or implicit additional conditions to all relationships based on who we have been, unconscious beliefs, our models of reality, what specific experiences we have been exposed to and what we believe is right and just for us.
Through knowing self at great depth and choosing consciously to explore the chasms of our being, we allow ourselves to be far more open to life. We can then make decisions, take action, embody and direct our lives according to what is most important to us — love is no different, nor should it be.
This implies conditions. Think in to this for a moment. If your child behaved in obscene, heinous, unhealthy, disconnected, and harmful ways would you love him or her the same?
No one can answer this but you. And the love of a parent child can become layered and complex as this bond and dynamic is a profound extension of self and as discussed earlier, the manner in which we treat others and ourselves is predicated on a number of varying factors. But nevertheless, something to contemplate deeply. When we say to another we love them, it is laden with conditions.
If our highest values in relationship for example is fidelity and our beloved is consistently practicing infidelity, how would we feel? Would we be able to remain in that relationship? Are we honouring our truth and respecting ourselves and our values if we are not aligned with that behaviour, yet allow ourselves to be continuously exposed to it?
Love in this context can be fickle. But here is the power we receive from being connected to ourselves in a meaningful manner and respecting our boundaries and setting conditions on our love. When we do this and embody this authentic practice two major occurrences take place. We draw deep alignment in our lives, we draw in to our lives people, experiences, life circumstances and conditions that truly aid our growth in exponential ways because we are being true to ourselves, exploring our authentic power and expressing congruency to others.
Our honesty acts as a large sift filtering out what does not serve us 2. Now, we have a capacity to enter the realm of unconditional states of being What Is Unconditional Love? The conditions lessen, the expectations become less rigid and we move with preferences as opposed to constricted fear based expectations. The only things that should be able to change your expectations are your own experiences and, even then, any changes should be your own choices after careful weighing of what you value.
Similarly, if you need to make changes in your relationship to be happy and must communicate your needs to your partner, you should be cognizant of whenever your mind tells you that you are being somehow selfish and remind yourself that looking out for your needs and pursuing your own happiness is not selfish.
More importantly, what is the purpose of a relationship if not to make you happy? It is important to note that this is different from being unable to make compromises within a relationship. Just as it is important to be aware of your own needs, it is also important to be just as aware of the needs of your partner and to try your best to meet both as much as possible.
However, you are never being selfish for being an advocate of your own needs and certainly not selfish for leaving a relationship that you believe may never be able to properly fulfill them enough to make the time and energy spent within the relationship worth it.
In order to make this kind of cost benefit analysis, it is important to always check in with yourself in a relationship. Checking in with how you feel about a relationship is not limited to the early stages of it when you may still have one foot out the door and are constantly checking to see if this is what you would want for your foreseeable future.
It is just as important further into a relationship. Despite this, it can sometimes be easy to just fall into the routine of a relationship and forget what the relationship is for and whether or not it is achieving that goal. Of course, it may not be necessary to still be checking in daily years into a relationship, but it is still important to do it every now and then.
Even the best relationships can fall into a rut every now and then. The important question to ask yourself then is how likely this is to change and how soon. There are a million other ways to keep your relationship healthily conditional rather than unconditional but this article would span the circumference of the world if I were to write them all.
The important takeaway is that your relationships are ultimately for you! Relationships should be a serendipitous partnership in which both parties have their core needs met and continue to both meet and go far beyond additional needs with a combination of thoughtfulness, compromise, and well- love!
Relationships are about expanding your world while having a cozy hub that you can always find your home in. Perhaps the biggest obstacle in choosing conditional love over the pursuit of unconditional love is the seeming moral superiority unconditional love has over conditional love.
To many people, the idea of unconditional love sounds more true, more pure, and more selfless. Conditions, as they would believe, dirty the purity of love and have no place in something so mystical and intangible. Because of this, to make a final case for healthily conditional love over unconditional love, we can take a glance away from the pragmatic ways to practice healthy conditional love within a relationship and instead challenge the notion that unconditional love reigns supreme over conditional love in its sincerity.
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